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Things get a whole lot weirder

He was strong, reasonably intelligent, an asshole. Even in junior high, I really wanted someone to put me in my place. I want...no, I need a man that can wield a firm hand. I am simply too bad for my own good.

Problem was, he was just as bad as I was.

I decided the thing to do was to flirt, be coy, and see where he led me. I lent him a book we had talked about, with my phone number neatly printed inside of the cover. I just hoped he would call! When he called me a few days later, I talked to him for hours. I felt like I had found a friend in this man, someone who understood me. When he asked me if I could come see him the next day, I asked what time. I did not even think of what my boyfriend might say.

I told you I was bad.

The next day, I dressed in a manner my mother would gasp at, and walked the three blocks to his apartment. When I knocked, he opened the door and purred in appreciation. That was enough encouragement for me. I nudged my way inside. In seconds, we were kissing. Minutes later, his hands were sliding up my skirt and into my skimpy panties. I trapped his hand between my hefty thighs, crying out. I wanted to scream, his touch was maddening me, but I didn't know if his roommate was home. I just couldn't get that comfortable. After I came, he took one look at my face and said that I had had enough. I was glad that he said something. I have this tiny problem with willpower.

This man was a huge cookie I did not want to resist. We met again the next week, and the week after that. I even moved into his apartment building a few months later. I wanted to be closer to Todd; he made me feel free because he wanted my badness, he craved it. I craved him. I loved the way he would trail his mouth from my ear down my neck, how he was content just seeing me naked. I wanted him to tie me down and fuck me. He made me feel better about being myself. For all of Todd's faults, he appreciated women who knew what they wanted. In some ways, he taught me to take as well as I gave.

There was no shame between us, only lies. I never knew him, nor did he know me. We pretended to be friends for the sake of the game, but we were not. He was a mentor, who would field any sex question with ease. I wanted to know everything about the underground S&M scene. I had started to explore my submissive tendencies, and he didn't make me feel like a fucking freak.

There was one big problem. He was married. In my defense, I didn't know. However, I had not bothered to ask. I felt guilty when he told me, and was really torn up about it. I just was not willing to quit. I am not a quitter, and I had a jones for this guy. I fucked him, and when I did, I did not care about anyone's feelings. Emotions have little to do with sex in my estimation. My boyfriend was not happy about it, but he was not yet willing to entertain the idea of monogamy. I wanted to get fucked every chance I could.

Once, we walked to the gas station about a block away. We had been hanging out with some mutual friends, and were going for snacks. On the way back, he pulled me behind a doctor's office. I was not wise enough to object.

"Do you want me?" He panted in my ear as if he had just run a marathon. I didn't respond, at least not verbally. I grabbed his cock through his tight jeans. He threw me against the wall, turning me so I faced the bricks. He pulled my panties off and shoved them in my purse. I was so close to coming I could taste it. When he pressed himself against my ass, I could smell his cigarettes. His voice turned to gravel as he growled in my ear. This was insane...what was I doing? I tried to turn to face him, but I was wedged in. Just as well. I didn't want to stop, anyway.

"Please, Todd.

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