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Review of film starring Samuel L Jackson & Christina Ricci.
Seriously, the dude is remarkably persistent. I just hope it doesn't get him killed someday. Three days ago, while I was waiting for the OC Transpo bus at the stop, I ran into a couple of my kind, and the fools came at me, while Gary happened to be nearby.
"If it isn't the traitor," said a tall, pale-skinned and blonde-haired female vampire whom I recognized as Debra. I know most of the local vampires, on account of Ottawa having less than three hundred of us. Debra used to be a Skinhead groupie before she became one of the undead. The blonde bitch was a racist in mortal life and kept her bad habits as one of the undead.
"Back off Debra," I said in a warning tone, and Debra snapped her fingers and a tall, bald-headed and green-eyed white male vampire dressed like a Biker seemingly materialized in front of me. The brute stared at me nastily, and turned to look at Debra, who smiled.
"Get the bitch, Marcus!" Debra ordered, and Marcus the vampire came at me. We tussled for a bit, and I was losing badly until a very familiar someone intervened. Gary Jean-Charles, my favorite co-worker, slammed into Marcus like a linebacker. I watched as Marcus fell to the side, stunned. Wow, Gary was tougher than I thought he was, seriously.
I clocked Debra a good one before Marcus could get up, and then I grabbed Gary's hand and dragged him away. We took off, running, and luckily we were able to catch the bus a few blocks away before Marcus and Debra could catch up with us. I told Gary that Marcus and Debra were Skinheads, and he bought that explanation. I couldn't tell him they were undead Skinheads.
"You are a unique woman with a lot of secrets and some enemies, that's for sure," Gary said, as he dropped the cutlass, and moved dangerously close to me. I looked at Gary, and sighed. Standing this close to me, Gary smelled of sweat, and cheap perfume, probably Axe body spray, but he also smelled of the most delicious odor I knew. Man's flesh smells wonderful to vampires because humans are our prey. I've sworn never to feed on a human...
"You got no idea," I said, smiling faintly, and try as I might, I couldn't make myself budge. You see, a vampire's hunger is quite powerful. I drink animal blood, which I can survive on, but to a vampire, it's the equivalent of bread and water. Human blood is like champagne and caviar all rolled into one for we the undead. Gary came closer, and to me, he was like a walking meal...
"You're so beautiful," Gary said, totally violating my personal space, and taking my face into his hands. This close, I could hear Gary's heartbeat. His flesh smelled delicious, like hotcakes, and the warm, red blood pumping throughout his body smelled like nectar to me. I looked at him...hungrily. And the fool mistook it for something else.
Gary pulled me into his arms and brought his face closer to mine. My vampire's instincts directed my gaze to his throat, and my lips peeled back from my lips, and I felt my fangs emerge. No, I told myself, and instead of sinking my fangs into Gary's neck, I kissed him on the lips. Voraciously. As if I were trying to suck the life out of him.
"Whoa, you're a fiery one," Gary said, a few moments later, after I shoved him off of me. I looked him up and down, shook my head, and then walked away. Foolishly, Gary followed me. I needed to get some fresh air, to get out of this kitchen which reeked of animal blood and sweaty humans. Basically, I needed to clear my head before I did something unspeakable.
"Gary, I like you, I do, but can you back off a bit, please," I said pleadingly as I sat on a bench near the parking lot. This spot is used by our smoking co-workers during their freaks. I could smell their leftover cigarettes, and plenty of other things, like the squirrel who rummaged through the nearby dumpster just a couple of hours ago. Perks of being a vampire, I guess.
"I am sorry for coming on too strong," Gary said evenly as he stood some distance from me.