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I don't think my explanations were even registering. Tim took a long draw on his beer and then began talking while he shook his head slowly.

"You stupid shit! For a relatively smart guy, you really don't get it do you?" Tim paused but I didn't know what to say so there was a long silence. "Did you think that people were really sucking Murphy off?" Okay, I'm slow about some things but then it was crystal clear what my mistake had been. I really didn't need him to go on. But that didn't stop Tim.

"'Sucking Murphy's dick' was just slang for having to go in and smooth over his feathers. I mean, if we had said 'smooth over his feathers' would you have looked to see where his feathers were." Tim thought that was funny. I didn't. And I didn't see what would have been gained by me pointing out that everyone knows that Murphy doesn't have feathers but he most certainly does have a dick--a fact I was intimately familiar with.

"You really sucked him off?" Tim said *yet again*. Really! How many times did he need to hear this? Okay, I made a stupid mistake. Couldn't we just let the topic drop and get back to talking about other things. The answer to that unasked question was, of course, 'no'.

I really couldn't talk too much after that. Tim asked me to tell him about what it was like but I couldn't talk about it and I didn't have the verve to say anything caustic like, "Why don't you suck me off and find out for yourself?"

As the conversation had petered out, we decided to go home. That was a relief. The first part of the evening had been a welcome relief from my mental turmoil. But since my secret was out and my embarrassment was total, I just wanted to get home and drink myself into oblivion.

Tim didn't say much as I drove him to his apartment complex. Every once in a while I caught him shaking his head or muttering something like, "Wow!" By the time we got to the parking lot behind his apartment, I was really ready for him to get out. I pulled into a space and waited for him to get out. To my surprise, he didn't.

"I want you to do it now...to me," he said and the words hung in the air.

"No!" I said emphatically. And in case that wasn't emphatic enough, I said it again: "NO!"

"Don't say 'no' to me Jason. You don't want everyone in the office to know what you did, do you?" Tim looked as if he had me by the proverbial balls. "Do you want everyone saying you're a cocksucker?"

Well, of course I didn't. But I didn't see how sucking a cock would make me less of a cocksucker.

It wouldn't, of course. But it might help keep me from being *known* as a cocksucker. Tim was betting that I would think that it would and that I would care enough about that to suck him off. When I thought of what my life would be like if the other guys knew that I had sucked Murphy off, I realized that Tim was right. And my failure to say anything in response to his threat let him know that he had won.

"Come on," he gloated as he unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock. "Here it is and I know you know what to do with it." I looked around the parking lot. There was no activity in sight and I knew better than to argue with Tim. That would only delay things and someone might come into the parking lot. Better to get it over with.

So, I leaned slowly over into the passenger seat and took his cock in my hand, first, and then into my mouth. It would be a cruel lie to suggest that I was any kind of cock connoisseur. Until this moment, Murphy's was the only other man's cock I'd touched. But I could immediately tell the difference between Tim's cock in my mouth and Murphy's. Tim's was smooth and Murphy's was heavily veined. Murphy's was a bit longer and thicker. And the head of Murphy's dick was more pronounced. I could really feel the helmet as it pressed back and forth between my lips. And then there was the ineffable difference in the scent.

But there were similarities, too.

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