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Intimate passion explodes to exhibitionish enjoyment.

" I look at the speedometer and mutter to myself, "... then why are you doing 90 in a 55?" I slow down the car and a take a deep breath. I light a cigarette. A long drag. Ashes out the window and skittering across the pavement. My mind wanders thoughtlessly... The day in front of me plays out like a movie. Different endings, different plots, the same characters... They dance in my head like some sort of mindless chaotic ballet... Brake lights.

"Whoa!" I pull the car to a stop just short of the vehicle in front of me. I'm at a red light. The real world comes rushing back in a blink and my mental ballet evaporates. Green light. I pull forward cautiously, heart still racing from my narrow miss with the Ford Explorer. 5 long minutes later, I'm parked in front of the restaurant. I sit motionless in the driver's seat, staring into space. I could just turn around. I could text her and tell her something came up. My brother needs me to help him with moving some furniture. I have to take my grandmother to the hospital. The dog died. Anything. I get out of the car and head for the entrance.

The second I walk in, I see her. How could I miss her? How could anyone? "Stay casual. Laid back. You're in control." I move to a nearby table and sit down casually, thumbing through the menu in front of me. She glides effortlessly to the side of the table. I swear she never walks anywhere. She just floats... "Hey." The sound of her voice brings back a rush of memories just like it always does. I push them back. "Hey... sweet tea." We chat back and forth a bit. She gets my order. I look at pictures on her cell phone. She specifically tells me to stop at a certain point as I'm scrolling through them. We both know I won't and we both know she told me becuase she wanted me to see the picture of her with no shirt on... and she knew I'd want to see it too. We both casually laugh and call it an "oops", lying to each other... maybe even to ourselves.

I finish my meal as slowly as possible. Hard to do. Eating fast has always come naturally to me... but I want to drag this time on as long as I can. I watch her walk back and forth between tables and customers, busting her ass to please everyone. It must be hard to always be so upbeat and nice and cheerful. I'd be terrible at this job. I finally can't sit there anymore without being obvious so I get up to pay the check. The woman taking my money at the register takes my card and smiles at me... almost knowingly. Are we that obvious when we're together? I shake it off and sign the slip she hands me. As I'm about to leave, I finally get the balls to say it. "When do you get off work?"

"We close at 2."

"Do you want to hang out after you get off?"

*a moment*

"Sure." and a smile... "Come pick me up at 2:30."

I practically dance all the way to my car. Then, of course, I give myself another little talk. "You're with someone. So is she. You're friends." God, these talks are fucking useless.

It's 1:00. I have not one damned thing to do for the next hour and a half. I make up errands to do. I go to the grocery store. I get my car washed... Twice. Why am I nervous? Why does my heart jump the way it does when I see her or hear her voice? 2:15. Close enough. I head back to the restaurant and park in the parking lot. She walks around from the back of the restaurant and I open the passenger door for her. She hops into the car and says "I thought you were going to get me in the rear." I stare at her and she giggles, realizing what she's just said.

We pull out of the parking lot and I just start driving.

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