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Bob goes home to Jennifer.

Gripping my buttocks. "Hold it, hold it, darlin'. Gonna come. Shit! Gonna come again!"

And then he did. And if this was as far as it was going to go, it was more than enough for me.

* * * *

"I'll give her up. That's the best I can do. I dropped her off at her home here on the way to the hotel."

I looked at William, who had tracked me down at the Del Coronado-at the pool. I felt at so much a disadvantage, reclining on a lounge bed by the pool, in my two-piece suit, and William standing over me-in an expensive three-piece suit.

"Let me put something on, and then let's take this into one of the bars-one without a big crowd." I played for time as I rose off the lounge bed and covered myself in a cotton wrap, not feeling so naked and vulnerable in front of him now.

"I can't stay with a man who screws his own sister, William," I said when we found a remote table at one of the beach bars, where the sound of the nearby surf covered our painful-shocking, really-conversation.

"It's the twenty-first century and we're not in Arkansas, Mary Ellen. You knew what Kathy and I had before we married. I mean I didn't directly tell you or anything, but-"

"The hell I did. I wouldn't have married you." Of course I suspected it. I had my doubts. I just didn't follow up on them because . . .

"You knew. Deep down you knew. But you wanted what I had to offer. I could give you so much. And think of Gideon. We share a son now."

Yes, that was it, I had to admit. I thought we could make it work. And that's what I said now. "I thought at the time that we could make it work, William. But you're throwing it in my face. You're screwing her in my bed."

"Technically speaking, we've kept it to one of the guest rooms," he responded. "But we could make it work. We can. We live in L.A. A lot of families in L.A. have special living arrangements. I can take care of you both. And now we have Gideon. I intend to raise Gideon no matter what."

I looked up into his eyes then. He was playing the Gideon card. This was what I was afraid of. William had everything. He had position, power, friends, in Los Angeles. And the best of lawyers. What did I have? Could I manage to keep Gideon? Would I dare tell the world why I wanted to leave William? William was right about L.A. That town had seen-and weathered-everything.

"Come on, baby. Come back to me. We can make it work. Dan's here. He can drive your car back today. We can stay until the morning, make use of the room you've already paid for. We can start all over again."

There was no preliminary other than the blow job I gave him-what he always liked to start off with. When I had him as big and hard as he was going to get, he pulled me up from my knees and lowered me to the bed, spreading my thighs, hovering over me, entering-not nearly as far or as thick as Billy did-but enough. Enough. I kept telling myself it would have to be enough. Thrusting. Again. Enough. And again. Enough. My nails digging into his shoulders, arching my back, my mouth opening to his. Again and again.

Exploding . . . together . . . as two years of marriage had trained them to do.

Not walking on clouds but enough. I'd have to give it another chance-to see if it was enough. If I can keep what's mine. If Kathy is truly gone.

But even though he had started by saying he would give her up, that's not what he continued to say. Was it? He said he could take care of both of us.

Valentine's Day, 2004

"Billy, that you? You home? Com' on in here and giv' us a buzz. I'm in the kitchen."

Billy's mother took another drag off her cigarette and another slug from a glass of bourbon, neat, and set the glass down on the kitchen table She sat sideways to the table, a bit slumped in the chair.

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